The Art of Losing Air

[refisher]

All that was white now turns black and falls away
The clarity in my mind months ago
It fades with the realization the beginning is ending.

Uncertainty rules my every decision
What I thought was right seems dangerous   No   Wrong.

"Where?"   "With whom?"   "How?"
These words incite burning in my eyes   Relieves
Water flows like salty rivers with many heads   Dries up
But not soon enough

The tears which dried up around my neck leave a sensation like I am being choked.
Why is that?
Thoughts which seem fantastical also seem most right.
What the hell?

"Infinite, eternal, unchangeable in Your wisdom"
Yet seems foolish
"Infinite, eternal, unchangeable in Your goodness"
Sounds dangerous

"Where?"   "With whom?"   "How?"
These words are caught and stay in my throat   Relief?
Slowly they begin to suffocate me as I cry   Dry up?